The list of rules set in place for rebooting bygone films is relatively anemic; general wisdom dictates that such practices should be verboten, but movie studios rarely allow little niggling details like hindsight and foresight get in the way of a quick buck. So the reboot machine churns, plopping recycling garbage onto a conveyor belt that empties straight into your local multiplex year after year, producing little of interest or note and giving audiences very little reason to leave their homes and attend the theater. Wonder why VOD has become so popular? Wonder no longer. Yet even in the realm of rebooting – not quite the same as “remaking”, be assured,…
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Off the Shelf…’Showdown In Little Tokyo’ (Not-So-Secret Santa Edition)
(Note: this Off the Shelf entry is a little bit extra special. That’s because it’s a part of the Cinematic Katzenjammer’s Not-So-Secret Santa Swap blogathon. For my swap, I have the dubious honor of tearing up the Dolph Lundren/Brandon Lee buddy cop film, Showdown in Little Tokyo, which I can’t describe succinctly here except to say that I hated it in the best way possible. Thanks to maestro Nick Powell for setting this whole thing up.) This probably outs me as an apostate of 80’s and 90’s schlock, but I’ve never been a Dolph Lundgren fan. Color me a member of the zeitgeist; he really is the poor man’s Arnold in every…
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Off the Shelf…’The Ghastly Love of Johnny X’
Where do you start with a charmingly bizarre Frankenstein’s monster like The Ghastly Love of Johnny X? There needs to be a better word for “weird” only because films like this exist, and at the end of the day that’s the best word to describe them, even if it’s a bit limiting. “Weird”, in the case of Johnny X, is good; Paul Bunnell’s off-kilter creation calls on a number of references and influences ranging from Flash Gordon to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and despite the clear connection to the B-movie cult icons of decades past, it winds up playing very much like its own (occasionally uneven) beast. That’s something of an achievement on its own,…
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Off the Netflix Queue…’Upstream Color’
Shane Carruth makes double-edged films. They’re the sort of art-oriented enterprises that utterly thrill me on spiritual, emotional, and intellectual levels, movies that confound, enlighten, dazzle, and bewilder all in equal turn; they’re also frequently cryptic to the point that articulating my feelings on them proves excessively difficult. Put more simply, Carruth’s cinema wows me and I can’t easily convey why, which puts me in a difficult position as somebody whose purpose is to distill his feelings on the movies he watches into precise essays measuring between eight to nine paragraphs in length. As a cinephile, filmmakers like Carruth validate my love for the medium; as a writer and critic,…
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Off the Shelf…’Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters’
From the outside, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters looks an awful lot like the cousin of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and its vulturous novelized kin. But Tommy Wirkola isn’t trying to mine wit out of genre trash based off of pillars of classic literature or the travails of American history; he just wants to make Sam Raimi flicks. Admittedly, the two transgressions are more or less the same thing- cribbing is cribbing- but watching the unabashed stupidity of Hansel & Gretel unfold feels akin to the experience of watching an eight-year-old in the full throes of a massive sugar rush as they haphazardly recreate scenes from their favorite movie using whatever…
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Off the Shelf…’Oz the Great and Powerful’
In this prequel to the 1939 classic, Sam Raimi shows us how the “Wizard of Oz” became so Great and Powerful. This Blu-Ray release allows us to go much deeper into this so-called prequel than even the well-intentioned 3D transfer would allow. Thankfully a second helping of this saccharine world is a more enjoyable affair and and a slightly more exciting outing. Who wouldn’t want to travel to the wondrous and imaginative worlds we’ve seen grace the silver screen? Chief among the most magical candidates has to be the Land of Oz. Usually it’s with extreme hesitation that one would chose to add to the mythology of property as legendary as The Wizard of Oz. Others smartly…
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Off the Shelf…’Lincoln’
Abraham Lincoln is considered by historians to be one of the best, if not the best, President of the United States of America. It is only fitting that one of the best directors of our time takes the helm on Lincoln. Most audience members that wander into Lincoln will already be aware of the events that transpire throughout the course of the film. We know what the outcome of the movie will be, because it is history. However, the joy is in the journey as you are thrust back into an explosive time rife with turmoil and change. Lincoln is ripped from the pages of history, meticulously reenacted and then hurled onto the big screen…
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Off the Shelf…Walt Disney’s ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame I & II’
The Hunchback of Notre Dame, is a very different type of Disney film and further a bold step for Walt Disney Feature Animation. To some Hunchback can be considered a classic as well as a paradigm shift that marks a divergent tone in series of features previously found in the Disney catalog. For years Disney films were filled with a mix of fanciful characters and/or led solely by an assortment of cute and fuzzy (sometimes feathered) animals. But when, save for The Lion King, have we got a misunderstood male character that was actually a male (read: human, not animal)? The answer, we think, is never. Anyway this story, about…
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Off the Shelf…Walt Disney's 'Mulan I & II'
In their 36th animated feature, Walt Disney Feature Animation brings an ancient legend to life in this colorful tale about the brave Chinese warrior Mulan. The story of the titular heroine, Hua Mulan, follows the tomboyish girl who disguises herself as a young man so she can fight with the Imperial Chinese Army against the invading Huns. This rousing adventure, one that blends fact and fiction, is as exciting as it is fun and full of the familiar Disney mainstays; a trifecta of colorful characters, kooky sidekicks and an almost fantasy-based story line. Walt Disney Home Entertainment releases this underrated story, and its less than flattering sequel, in a glamorous Blu-Ray Collector’s…
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Off the Shelf…'Wreck-It Ralph'
Disney and director Rich Moore’s fantastic arcade themed adventure blazes to life on this solid 3D Blu-Ray release. Had you not seen this fun filled adventure in theaters, along with the now Oscar-winning short film Paperman, and manage to see Wreck-It Ralph blind and with no knowledge of its source of origination, you might be inclined to credit the film to Pixar. And while that wouldn’t be an unreasonable guess, you’d be wrong. Ralph has all the bearings of Pixar at its finest, yet Rich Moore’s first feature length effort comes to us from none other than the Mouse House itself. Arriving six months after the release of Brave, Ralph gives weight to the theory that both…
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Off the Shelf…’Oldboy’
(Note: I’ve never made my love for Park Chan-wook’s Oldboy a secret, and I’ve never actually sat down and reviewed it in full. I’ve written pieces about it before, but only in context with what the movie means to me as a critic and cineaste. In light of my recent rediscovery of my love for Korean film, I’m going to correct that omission, so please enjoy this piece of effusive praise for what remains my all-time favorite movie.) Amidst its graphic violence, stunning visual palette, titanic performances, and vibrant, multi-toned soundtrack, the greatest pleasure of Oldboy lies in its enigmatic complexion. It is a masculine, macho thriller, a tragedy of…
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Off the Shelf…’Peter Pan’
When it comes to classic Disney movies, usually, the older the title the more fascinating the film. Now that doesn’t have to do with the plot of story itself but rather the story behind the picture and how it all came to be. Back before computers, hand drawn animation was immensely challenging and time consuming to say the very least. But once completed, and exhibited on the silver screen, it soon became a feast for the eyes as well as the imagination. The result was something that would serve as inspiration to an entire generation of people both young and old. But like any great story there’s an even better back story. So…
