They say that there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues, but hopefully that’s not true. After some thought I think I have one remedy for all you heat riddled film fans in the form of 10 incendiary and bombastic action titles. These flicks serve aren’t like any of Christopher Nolan’s intellectual roller-coaster rides, but rather fun and fast ways to beat the heat in the cool confines of a theater (or home theater).
What follows is a slightly personal but hopefully an they’ll serve as a diversion from the great wall of heat that hits us hard this time of year, especially here in Dallas; we’re just a week into Summer and already dealing with the triple digit heat. Now this is a little different that what we did last August, but the end goal is essentially the same. Admittedly this list is full of all things loud, slightly brainless but with especially great one-liners. So let’s kick back, relax and relish the on-screen delight of the G-S-T Fun Flicks For Summer.
Now, let’s enjoy things that go BOOM…
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Armageddon – The first of 3 Micheal Bay movies on this list (can you blame me, the guy knows how to make a statement), explosions don’t get any bigger than when an asteroid threatens to wipe out our small corner of the universe. Summer pop-corn flicks rarely get quality of this level and it comes by way of Aerosmith, Bruce Willis and his team of A-List hot shot roughneck protagonists.
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The Rock – Back to back Bayhem? You got that right. The Rock shows us that, like other cinematic icons, Sean Connery can still pack a punch. This, like Armageddon actually are Crtierion titles and you know that lot knows a good flick when they see one. If you haven’t seen this 90’s gem (both for the film and the score) allow me to fill you in on the plot. Sean Connery breaks back in to the Alcatraz after having broken out of it 30 years earlier, once there he has to break out again. It’s all very complicated but it’s great to see Connery and Cage go at it.
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T2: Judgement Day – James Cameron created one hell of an iconic villain and then blew our minds by making him the hero. Well if you want to be technical they’re not really the same character but I think you take my meaning. The beloved Terminator series has befallen the same fate as other legendary franchises and with each proceeding picture the disappointments have become commonplace and unavoidable. But we’ll always have this sci-fi gem from 1992 to remind us of how things used to be.
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Predator – You can’t have a list of explosion heavy pop-corn flicks and just have one Ah-nuld movie can you? Of course not, that’s why this McTiernan classic is required viewing for any Summer. While entirely quotable and featuring arguably the greatest sci-fi creature ever, this has all kinds of firepower, including but not limited to, the nonsensical shootout scene where Dutch and company essentially level a small portion of the jungle and create a runway. That’s just a small taste of what makes this great fun.
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The Matrix – Why is this here? Two words…lobby shootout. Not good enough? Here’s two more…kung-fu. Plain and simple this groundbreaking film from The Wachowski’s changed the action game forever. Whether the weapons were fists, guns (lots of guns in fact) or just words/ideas that would blow your mind, The Matrix (and Reloaded actually) make explosions and action downright sophisticated and elegant.
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Independence Day – Actually this list comes just in time for everyone favorite patriotic holiday next Wednesday. Roland Emmerich, oddly similar to Bay actually, is an old pro at blowing the hell out of things. But in an alien invasion flick, he shows us that to hostile E.T.s nothing is sacred as they lay waste to our iconic buildings and monuments. Yet out of all the mass destruction few films can claim such a memorable money shot that flattens 1700 Pennsylvania Ave in glorious slow motion.
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Aliens – Cameron is back with a follow up to Ridley Scott’s sci-fi masterpiece. But how do you top something like Alien (as in singular)? You guessed it, give us more of those terrifying steel-toothed baddies, and a whole lot to boot. But no matter the number of worker drones, or the fact that they can cut the power to make an intense action scene all the more intense, few things induce more nightmares than the Queen Alien…sometimes I go to bed at night and thank God for Sigourney Weaver.
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Transformers: Dark of the Moon – The third installment to Bay’s battle bot series is far from the best but still light years better than the dreadful Revenge of the Fallen. Yet while we’re given another nonsensical plot to put down as an appetizer, when the full course comes on for a full 45 minutes that’s when the Bayhem really hits the fan. The superlatives spectacular, jaw-dropping and awesome have been in our vernacular a long time but they have never been used more in a single sitting than in the finale of Dark of the Moon. As Thor might say, I like this. Another!
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Die Hard – This McTiernan classic basically created its own action sub-genre; the now overdone “one man on a mission, trapped in a something” plot. Die Hard is many things to a lot of people. A fantastic actioner, a cornucopia of one-liners, trend-setter for legendarily trashy villains, and the perfect unofficial Christmas non-Christmas movie. Then there’s all manner of fire balls and explosions that even for a movie that old still are vastly impressive. Yippie Ki-Yay indeed!
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The Expendables – As a HUGE Sly fan it pained me to sit through this throwback ensemble blow-em up flick. What a mess it was. The acting was bad, the editing was bad, the story was bad and while possibly done so very intentional (as it was an homage to the over-the-top B-movies of the 80’s after all) there was one shining gem in it’s crown; the action. The final shootout scene at the chateau was the icing on a bitter cake, but showed us that, after Rambo and his .50 caliber friend saved some missionaries, he’s still got it and is no stranger to the incendiary end of a big effen gun. The Director’s Cut was a moderate improvement but let’s hope the sequel has everything this didn’t…because we know we can count on the action being there in spades.
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So if you needed a few ways to beat the heat this Summer, we hope these suggestions of loud, slightly brainless flicks and their especially great one-liners find you well. Remember, the word of the day, and season really, is cool, cool, cool.
2 Comments
ruth
I agree with most of your list, but I’d never watch Expendables again. I nearly walked out of the theater watching that one. The Rock, The Matrix, Die Hard and ID 4 though, those have great replayability factor.
RidgeRacer4
Right there with ya Ruth…but like I said, the ending made this somewhat tolerable. I wanted a Stallone flick on this list and nothing says BOOM like the end of The Expendables…though now that I think of it, I probably should have used Rambo. Next time then….thanks for the comment:)